Welcome!

I've had this site up for MONTHS but the idea of starting a new blog all over again seemed so overwhelming. 

I have a blog on another site that I've had for years, but it's been months since I've written anything.  It started out being a place to write about my day to let family & friends know what I was doing.  However, I quickly learned that I couldn't be completely honest.  I was constantly censoring everything I wrote to prevent upsetting anyone.  I couldn't really talk about my real feelings.  And then the littlest things would make people mad - things I didn't think would cause any friction.  For instance, I do not like my stepmom.  When I talk about her and my Dad, I would only mention my Dad and intentionally leave her out (as if she didn't exist).  On the other hand, I like my stepdad.  So when I would talk about him and my mom, I would write both of their names.  So then my dad gets all mad at me.  If simply leaving out my stepmom's name pissed him off, then I can guarantee that me being honest about my feelings would be a million times worse.  So, I just stopped writing.

Now, I am not going to claim that this will be the most interesting blog.  There will be days where I simply write about all the menial things I did that day.  I understand that doesn't appeal to many people.  But the top reason for this blog is for ME.  Somewhere for me to keep a diary of sorts.  Of course, I would love to have readers and comments.  I am looking forward to finding new blogs to read as well.  I have made some very good relationships with people on my last blog site and I hope that they will follow me over here.  If you are reading this, THANK YOU (don't worry, I'm still reading your Xanga posts, even if I'm not posting over there). .  If you are new to me, please stick around - I would love to get to know you.

So, what can you expect to read about here?  Aside from the boring day to day activities, I will be posting about:

• Weight loss: I will be weighing myself every Monday and posting a picture of the scale reading.  I will also talk about food and working out.  I hope you all can help keep me accountable.
• Deployment:  My husband is currently gone for the next ~370 days.  After 11 years together and 10 years of living together and seeing each other day in and day out, I'm now dealing with living on my own.  I don't think it's going to be pretty.
• Infertility: We have been trying to start a family for 4 years.  It stinks having him gone for the next year but it won't stop us from trying.  I will be doing IVF in December.  
• Anxiety & depression: I have been dealing with these issues for years.  Deployment, infertility and being self conscious about my weight do not help these issues AT ALL, but I'm trying to keep myself under control.

I will be introducing each of these topics in my first few posts so that you can learn my background and get to know me. 

Please feel free to leave a comment, say hi and give me the link to your blog so I can find new people to follow.